Divorce in the Facebook Era

Facebook, Twitter, Flickr, Myspace, and Google have changed how we live and connect socially in many ways, and these changes extend to how we break up as well. Even if you're not a member of Second Life, you likely have a second online life made up of your Facebook posts pictures and tags. So what happens when you get divorced? When do you change your relationship status? What do you do with tagged pictures of both of you? Do you unfriend your ex?

All of these questions and more were explored in a recent Gizmodo article: How to Survive the Modern Day Breakup. The basic takeaway point from the article is that you should use the same common sense prudence in your online life that you should use in your offline life.

For example, you wouldn't throw away family pictures just because you're getting divorced, but you might put them away in storage for a while. Similarly, you might want to remove your online pictures and save them on a hard drive, CD or DVD that you keep but put away for now.

Another example, is how you should handle relationship status changes. You might now want to call all your friends and tell them you're getting divorced. Similarly, you can change your relationship status on Facebook without having it appear in everyone's news feed by changing the privacy settings for your status.

Finally, consider what you write online to be as public as what you tell your most gossipy friend. If you don't want your comments to make their way back to your ex, then don't tell them to mutual friends, and don't post them online.

What if I can't take the Parent Education Course? Is there an alternative option?

Under Standing Order 99-1 of the Probate & Family Court, if you have any minor children at the time of the filing of your divorce case, you are required to attend the Court-sponsored Parents Apart education program before you can present either a settlement of your case, or present your case for trial. A brochure which lists the names, addresses and telephone numbers of the various organizations that provide this program, in alphabetical order by town, is available by clicking here.

You should immediately enroll in and attend this course because your case cannot end until you have completed the course, which consists of two 3 hour sessions. After completion of the program you will be provided with a golden Certificate of Completion, which you must provide to the Court. If you give this golden copy to your attorney, they can ensure that it is properly filed with the Court and this requirement fulfilled.

But, what if you can't attend?

I have worked on numerous cases where one of the parties had moved to another country or state and was unable to return to Massachusetts to take the course, usually due to financial constraints. In those limited circumstances, Judge's will sometimes allow a Motion to Waive Attendance.

Pursuant to a recent Press Release from the Chief Justice of the Probate and Family Court Department, dated April 12, 2010, the court may suggest use of a DVD as a replacement for participation in the program (as a an alternative to a complete waiver).

According to the Press Release: "On a limited basis, use of a DVD program entitled KidCare for Co-Parents: An Educational Program for Divorcing Families is now available when a judge is considering a waiver.

KidCare for Co-Parents is a four and a half hour multimedia, interactive program which can be used with a DVD player on either a personal computer or a television screen. Completion of the interactive aspects of the DVD is required in order to obtain the Certificate of Attendance which must then be provided to the Court."