Will Child Support Change if I have a Second Family (or Eighth Family)?

The Child Support Guidelines in Massachusetts include the following provision:

"Obligations to a subsequent family may be used as a defense to a request to modify an order seeking an increase in the existing order but such obligations should not be considered a reason to decrease existing orders."

In short, this means that you cannot request that the Court reduce your child support because you chose to have more children (although you can defend a request for an increase on this basis). This could be really bad news for someone who is apparently unaware of birth control like New York Jets cornerback, Antonio Cromartie.

Antonio Cromartie has a lot to say about the upcoming Patriots/Jets Divisional Playoff Game, but is less eloquent when it comes to remembering the names of his nine children (with eight different mothers). This video from Toucher & Rich (of Boston's 98.5 the Sports Hub) points out Cromartie's shortcomings in song:

It's a Mad, Mad World: Uncomfortable Praise for the Evolution of Divorce Law in the United States

Mad Men Season 3 Episode Photos
Mad Men Season 3 Episode Photos Photo Gallery
Don Draper (Jon Hamm) in Episode 13

One of television's most popular shows, Mad Men (season five premieres on March 25 on AMC), is set in the early to mid 1960s New York, and features the troubled marriage and eventual divorce of two of its main characters. The show has earned praise for its efforts to remain historically accurate, and as such, gives divorce practitioners a chance to view the dissolution of a marriage as if it were in a time capsule.

The show's main character, Don Draper, is a professionally successful advertising executive with a lifestyle which includes a serious drinking problem and many extra-marital affairs. His wife, Betty, had been a model, but stopped working to care for their children after their oldest was born. After discovering one of Don's affairs, and finding out that he was actually living under someone else's name, and that he had previously been divorced in California, she went to her father's estate attorney to ask about her options regarding a divorce. The following is the dialogue between Betty and the attorney, fictionally set in 1963 (from the season finale of Season 3):

Attorney: "What do you want to do? Do you want a divorce? In New York State you need to prove adultery. Can you?"
Betty: "Maybe."
Attorney: "I mean prove it in a court of law. That's hard to do, unless he wants out, but you're not going to get anything. You won't even be able to buy [your brother] out of [your father's] house, so you'll have to sell it. And, he can take the children. That's my legal advice. You want the rest of it? Are you afraid of him?"
Betty: "No."
Attorney: "Is he a good provider?"
Betty: "Well, he is but that's not the point. It's a lie so big, Milton. I feel like I've been in some dream since I found out. Just saying it out loud to you is ... the first time I'm realizing it's true."
Attorney: "You have three small children together. At least, go home. Give it a try. That's what I'd tell my own daughter."

At the time of this fictional dialogue, No-Fault divorce had not yet become available in most states. New York became the last state to allow for No-Fault divorce in 2010. Massachusetts, by contrast, has had No-Fault divorce for over thirty years.

No-Fault divorce makes proving a wrong, such as adultery, unnecessary in a divorce proceeding. Since No-Fault divorce became common, divorce cases have shifted their focus from what a husband or wife has done wrong to accepting that individuals should have the ability to exit a marriage if they feel that it has irretrievably broken down, and figuring out how to sever some of the ties that bind a couple.

Other than the procedural requirement that something fault-based be proven in court, the two points that the attorney makes that are diametrically opposed to modern divorce law is the idea that Betty would not get anything, and that Don would get the kids. Modern divorce law is designed to (it doesn't always work out this way, but it is designed to) minimize the transition for any children in the midst of a divorce. Judges like to keep children in as stable position as possible. The idea of having three young children taken away from their stay-at-home mother to reside primarily with their father and his long hours and drinking problem, without much evidence that the children would be better off with him than with their mother, is unlikely in a modern divorce. Further, the revolution (and evolution) of alimony, property division, and child support within the context of a modern divorce would make it very unlikely that Betty would be left without many assets or support from Don to continue their upper middle class lifestyle.

Lastly, and this might be more the issue of a Hollywood script than a historically accurate portrayal of how attorneys spoke to potential clients about divorce fifty years ago, it is inappropriate for an attorney to try and convince a potential client to either obtain or refrain from obtaining a divorce. That is a personal decision that should be made only by the individual.

What is considered "fair" is fluid. Views on politics, ethics, gender relations, and many more issues vary over the course of time, and vary among different cultures within the same time. From this divorce practitioner's viewpoint, the modern divorce is generally "fair" given what that term carries in early twenty-first century Massachusetts, at least far more than what it was fifty years ago.

Does Reducing and Limiting Alimony Force Primary Caretakers into the Workforce?

When a child is born out of wedlock, either parent may initiate a court proceeding to establish certain rights and obligations that come with raising a child. Such rights include visitation, the ability to make significant life decisions for the child, and child support. The purpose of child support is to provide a measure of financial security for a child from a parent that might not be living with the child full-time.

When a child is born into a marriage that later dissolves, child support may be ordered, and usually is. The purpose of child support for children born into a marriage, or out of wedlock, is identical: to provide for the financial costs of raising a child.

However, when marriages dissolve, the finances of the couple might be such that a court will order alimony as well. The purpose of alimony is to provide for the financial well-being of a former spouse. The issue of alimony always has been, and will likely always be, controversial. The rationale behind it is that in a marriage, both people contribute in (ideally) complementary ways. When one spouse devotes time to furthering his or her career, it is (ideally) with the contribution of support from the other spouse. For example, if one spouse is picking up extra hours at work to get a promotion, he or she is doing so while his or her spouse is taking care of the home, or the kids. Often times, one spouse is not as able to further his or her career while their partner does. When the marriage dissolves, courts want the spouse who was not as able to further his or her career to smoothly transition into a financially independent unit, and the tool through which this is accomplished is alimony.

In Massachusetts, alimony is still officially a matter of great discretion for judges. The Alimony Reform Act of 2011 does not become effective until March 1, 2012, although many judges are issuing orders consistent with its new limits. The Act, for the first time in Massachusetts, creates a formula for calculating alimony, much like the existing child support guidelines in Massachusetts. One of the more important provisions of the Alimony Reform Act is that no income included in the calculation of child support will be then included in a calculation of alimony. The child support guidelines in Massachusetts are limited to a combined income of $250,000. Thus, unless the combined income in a marriage where there are minor children is more than $250,000, absent circumstances that would convince a judge to vary from the formulas, there will be only child support and no alimony order (provided that the lesser earning spouse is the primary caretaker of the minor child or children -- judges still have a good deal of discretion, and I would encourage you to speak to an attorney if you have any questions or concerns about your specific case).

This muddies the waters a bit from the varying justifications for child support (provide for the child) and alimony (provide for the former spouse). One justification for this is attrition. For couples earning less than $250,000 combined, there is usually not enough income to justify both child support and alimony. What the court will label as "child support" (and the IRS and Department of Revenue will treat as "child support") does assist the primary caretaker into transitioning into a financially independent unit.

However, it is not enough to provide for the economic quality of life enjoyed during the marriage. When a couple divorces, the expenses once shared (one home, one electricity bill, etc.) are now separated. Now there are two homes to pay for, and two electricity bills. Even if the combined income stays the same, the combined expenses will increase. For many individuals, receiving child support will not be enough. They will need to transition back into the workforce, or focus more time on increasing their income to meet their expenses. The "child support" will provide a measure of financial security to the recipient spouse as he or she transitions to devoting more energy towards furthering his or her career. This, unfortunately, comes at the cost (usually) of spending time at home with the children.

Beautiful Sticks and Stones: Defeating the Culture of Bullying and Rediscovering the Power of Character and Empathy

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Being a teenager has never been easy, but in recent years, with the rise of the Internet and social media, it has become exponentially more challenging. Bullying, once thought of as the province of queen bees and goons, has taken on new, complex, and insidious forms, as parents and educators know all too well.
 
No writer is better poised to explore this territory than Emily Bazelon, who has established herself as a leading voice on the social and legal aspects of teenage drama. In Sticks and Stones, she brings readers on a deeply researched, clear-eyed journey into the ever-shifting landscape of teenage meanness and its sometimes devastating consequences. The result is an indispensable book that takes us from school cafeterias to courtrooms to the offices of Facebook, the website where so much teenage life, good and bad, now unfolds.
 
Along the way, Bazelon defines what bullying is and, just as important, what it is not. She explores when intervention is essential and when kids should be given the freedom to fend for themselves. She also dispels persistent myths: that girls bully more than boys, that online and in-person bullying are entirely distinct, that bullying is a common cause of suicide, and that harsh criminal penalties are an effective deterrent. Above all, she believes that to deal with the problem, we must first understand it.
 
Blending keen journalistic and narrative skills, Bazelon explores different facets of bullying through the stories of three young people who found themselves caught in the thick of it. Thirteen-year-old Monique endured months of harassment and exclusion before her mother finally pulled her out of school. Jacob was threatened and physically attacked over his sexuality in eighth grade—and then sued to protect himself and change the culture of his school. Flannery was one of six teens who faced criminal charges after a fellow student’s suicide was blamed on bullying and made international headlines. With grace and authority, Bazelon chronicles how these kids’ predicaments escalated, to no one’s benefit, into community-wide wars. Cutting through the noise, misinformation, and sensationalism, she takes us into schools that have succeeded in reducing bullying and examines their successful strategies. The result is a groundbreaking book that will help parents, educators, and teens themselves better understand what kids are going through today and what can be done to help them through it.

Praise for Sticks and Stones
 
“Intelligent, rigorous . . . [Bazelon] is a compassionate champion for justice in the domain of childhood’s essential unfairness.”—Andrew Solomon, The New York Times Book Review

“Immersive storytelling with a sturdy base of science underneath, [Sticks and Stones] draws its authority and power from both.”—New York

“Thoughtful and moving, incisive and provocative, Sticks and Stones is essential reading for any educator trying to negotiate the minefield of bullying. Packed with valuable advice, the book brings a welcome dose of sanity to an often overheated national discussion.”—Paul Tough, author of How Children Succeed
 
“Beautifully written and tenaciously reported, Sticks and Stones is a serious, important book that reads like a page-turner. Emily Bazelon is a gifted writer, and this powerful work is sure to place childhood bullying at the heart of the national conversation—right where it belongs.”—Susan Cain, author of Quiet

Sticks and Stones: Defeating the Culture of Bullying and Rediscovering the Power of Character and Empathy Reviews

Sticks and Stones: Defeating the Culture of Bullying and Rediscovering the Power of Character and Empathy Reviews

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37 of 51 people found the following review helpful Must-read analysis of the problem of bullying - and some solutions, February 4, 2013 By  Kurt Conner (South Hadley, MA USA) - See all my reviews       This review is from: Sticks and Stones: Defeating the Culture of Bullying and Rediscovering the Power of Character and Empathy (Hardcover) Customer review from the Amazon Vine™ Program ( What's this?) This is a must-read book for anyone who cares about teenagers. Bazelon carefully explores issues relating to bullying, avoiding blame or hyperbole to present thoughtful and textured pictures of what the problem is (and, perhaps more significantly, what it is not) and sharing success stories from schools trying hard to protect kids. I should disclose some personal biases here. In late 2008, I bought my first home, a small place in South Hadley, Massachusetts, just a few blocks from the high school. I live on a quiet street in a quiet town where, for the most part, nothing significant had ever happened. Then, in January 2010, a young woman named Phoebe Prince killed herself after being bullied, and my quiet town turned into the bullying capital of the world. People here were shocked at the tragedy, and many community members came together to mourn. Before long, though, my neighbors and I got used to reporters all over the place, especially when six students were criminally... Read more Help other customers find the most helpful reviews  Was this review helpful to you?  Report abuse | Permalink   Comment Not very helpful, March 6, 2013 By  M. Heiss (USA) - See all my reviews    This review is from: Sticks and Stones: Defeating the Culture of Bullying and Rediscovering the Power of Character and Empathy (Hardcover) It's nice that Emily Bazelon can see everything from the perspectives of the bullied and the bullies, and can tell us that most situations are not cut-and-dried. She can easily and breezily reassure us that it's not always possible to determine who deserves sympathy and who serves reproach. and she can remind us that most bullying is about maintaining status, not about picking on the loners. Mmmm-kay. That's all nice. I'm glad she has a heart full of empathy for bullies and bullied alike. But her action items? "We" need to "do something". Ohhhhhhhhhh. "We" need to "be smart in our choice of strategies." Tell me more. "We" must "resist the rush to judgment when a bullying story goes viral." And best of all, "It's wrong to fault parents." And, apparently, school administrators. Know what would clear this up? Provide your child some micro recording devices, and capture the incidents on film. Capture the responses... Read more Help other customers find the most helpful reviews  Was this review helpful to you?  Report abuse | Permalink   Comment 15 of 23 people found the following review helpful Intimate stories of sadness and hope, and so much to learn from them, February 19, 2013 By  Jennifer Rachel (USA) - See all my reviews Amazon Verified Purchase( What's this?) This review is from: Sticks and Stones: Defeating the Culture of Bullying and Rediscovering the Power of Character and Empathy (Hardcover) As the mom of a young boy who is the smallest in his class, I was very eager to read this book. I was hoping for insights into what bullying is (compared to just kids being kids), and how to deal with it. I was especially curious about online bullying/cyberbullying. What I got was much more -- about the problem itself and the many forms it can take, about the typical reactions of parents and administrators, and about the range of solutions that can actually make a difference. I also didn't expect a book about bullying to be a page-turner, but it really was because the stories are so personal. I was surprised to learn that much of what parents and teachers do to try to address a bullying issue is often not very helpful (or worse). Bazelon makes it clear why this is true by describing very detailed accounts of real people dealing with real events. And her conclusions are solidly based on experience, science, and the law - a compelling combination. It's clear after reading... Read more Help other customers find the most helpful reviews  Was this review helpful to you?  Report abuse | Permalink   Comment

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Alimony Reform Recommendations

UPDATE: There is pending legislation for major changes to the alimony statute in Massachusetts. The Alimony Reform Act of 2011 was filed on January 18, 2011 and you can learn more about the Act at MassAlimonyFormula.com or in our recent blog post highlighting the differences between the bill and the current law.

The Boston Bar Association has unanimously voted to endorse the Report of the Joint MBA/BBA Alimony Task Force: Alimony or Spousal Support Guidelines where there are no Dependent Children.

The Report recommends an alimony cap based on a formula. It also recommends durational limits on alimony and lists specific instances where the recommendations would not apply, such as cases where the recipient is so disabled as to become a ward of the state.

The Report also allows for deviation based on certain factors, which include cohabitation.

As indicated in a previous Alimony debate post, this is the type of reform that we believe would be an improvement over the current state of alimony in Massachusetts (especially as compared to the currently proposed reforms in the Senate and House bills).

If you have an opinion on which solution is best, vote here.